What will the future bring?

I am constantly wondering what will happen in my future.

This past week, we took a test to see what our personal colors were. I found out that my top two colors are green and blue. Green people have trouble with many things. We constantly worry, and ponder, and think about everything that is going on. I find myself always thinking of what is to come and what I need to do. This is one of my flaws.

Even though I have high grades, and I almost without a doubt know what I want to do with my life, I still wonder.

Through this mentorship, I have realized something very valuable about myself. I love to help people but I can not stand to just be in a doctors office. I have had the great experience of being able to go in to open heart surgery. This turned a major light bulb on in my head. I know that for a fact I want to go into surgery. I would go crazy if I was never able to see the magnificent inside of the human body. It completely fascinates me. I find myself thinking about the human heart beating inside the chest very often. The memory of the blood rushing back into the body and seeing the heart beat after so many minutes of being stagnant continually replays in my mind.

I know without a doubt that this is my ultimate desire to fulfill in my life. However, after talking to so many surgeons and doctors, I am finding out that it will be harder for me to develop other aspect of my life that I want to happen. I want to have a family. I want to get married and have children. I want to be able to support my family (which I will most definitely be able to do) but most importantly I want to be able to spend quality time with my husband and children. This longing begins to seem further and further out of my reach since I want this prestigious career as well.

I am always wondering about my future but only time can tell.